When I was a child, I literally had no real friends – you know, the kind with whom you laugh and share your paper dolls and who are sad when you cry.  And, I had  no social skills either.  My parents virtually never invited anyone to our home.  I don’t remember helping prepare a meal [...]

Something is awaiting you.  Here’s the secret to embracing it.  This is what Bob and I teach and walk people through in our one day workshops.  Feelings.  The feelings you want to experience every day are what attract the special something that is just yours.  When you go into quiet, bring the way you want to feel [...]

Dear Reader Friends, I have a long distance friendship with one of the world’s most beautiful spirits who lives in Oregon.  We share the most intimate pieces of our lives.  Knowing my parents passed away fairly recently and knowing she can tell me anything and knowing I will be honest and support her and her [...]

Where are you stuck?  What is keeping you there? After the passing of Mother on January 9, I couldn’t seem to feel comfortable that she had completed her crossing.  Regardless of the vocabulary we use, many people feel, as did Mother, that somehow those who are departing this world join with loved ones who have already [...]

It has been graphically demonstrated to me that physical pain is a lack of love to that specific location.  Emotional pain might be lack of love in our thinking.  So this probably isn’t a new idea.  Nevertheless, it’s useful.  I recently was asked, ‘where are you stuck?’ and ‘what keeps you there?’  What intrigues me about [...]

We  just returned from the moving play, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, reliving the year in which both her only daughter and only husband died.  I cried most of the way home.  Fontaine Syed brought Joan to life and let her anguish visibly hang out.  When I read Joan’s book during my [...]

The most unexpected thing occurred during the last years of my parents’ lives.  Our roles shifted enormously.  My parents, as they cruised closer and closer to the ends of their lives, dropped their filters and their persona.  I had the, perhaps rare, and delightful opportunity to be with their true selves, perhaps even more so with Daddy, [...]

That fine line between compassion and selfishness is a big blur these days.  Decisions about euthanasia or terminal illness graphically illustrate the lack of clarity between wanting contentment and quality of life for the ill and not being able to watch them suffer without suffering myself.  Fortunately, this is true of my family situations, not my client experiences.  [...]

Staying sane. It’s the only good revenge on life’s trials. True sanity…how elusive in this society. Sanity bespeaks of grace, allows grace, snubs its nose at empowering heavy and cumbersome, incorporates restorative quiet and lots of laughter. Another word I like comes from the French. Sang-froid (san-frwa) is a state of calm and composure. There [...]

Eldon Ray Berridge – Feb 9, 1914 to June15, 2009 My father passed away just before 7 pm on Monday, June 15 at the age of 95.  We were a team.  This is my version of our story.  We think of life as a living and dying cycle.  Yet, to me, it is now birthing and [...]